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How Not To Make Money Online (Or Anywhere Else)

Here are a few tips on how _not_ to make money, and underneath each one, the smart thing to do instead.

1. Follow The Herd. By the time you hear about it, it'll probably have peaked. The time to grab a niche is looking around you, seeing what people are looking for, and giving it to them, fast. Not recommended: Multi-Level Marketing (MLM), Internet Marketing, eBooks, Paid-To-Surf and High Yield Investment Programs (HYIP). These will all make money for the guys running the show, not you. Do your own research. Internet forums are full of the past, not the future. You can learn your trade, but not the latest wheeze. You think if someone's got a really sweet idea they'll blab it in a forum? Only if they're vain or stupid. Or they've already made their bit, the idea is washed out, so they make one last profit by getting the newbies excited about it. By the time you hear about it the herd will have spammed the hell out of it.

2. Not Following The Herd. Sometimes the herd is heading over a cliff. Sometimes it's heading to green pastures. You can't start a revolution on your own; it's too much hard work. So find something there's already a demand for, and set up a stall offering it cheaper, faster or better. Or all three! Tip: Exhaust internet research before starting your new career. It's likely someone has already done what you're thinking of, at least in part. Maybe you can walk the trail they blazed, rather than hacking your own?

3. Do Something You Dislike. You can't put your heart in a job you dislike. You'll find you can't summon the energy. The ol' inspiration doesn't flow. Why? McJobs turn your brain to hamburger. Your subconscious (your heart) will not supply the energy to do something it's against, even if the head says 'go!'. Solution: Take the time to find something you truly enjoy: your vocation.

4. Do Something Which Doesn't Pay Well. Just getting by means you'll go broke someday: one bit of bad luck, then bam! Plenty of jobs out there which pay _just_ enough to survive on. That's how capitalists get rich; _they_ make the profits, _you_ do the legwork. And that's as it should be. You want the big bucks? Be a super salesman, or an entrepreneur; they take all the risks, so it's only right they get the gravy. Like all employees I disliked and feared my boss; he had real power over me. Then when I became my own boss, I understood him perfectly. He didn't care about my little problems. He didn't owe me anything beyond my wages and a civil word. He was largely oblivious to my mutinous grumbling. All he wanted was for me to come in on time, do the work, and clear off at the end of the day. He set the business up, so he deserved the lion's share. He had to worry about keeping the whole place going. If you were a boss, and it was your money, just how generous would you be to your employees? Oh yeah, suuuure! And I bet you're a big tipper too! Solution: If you want to work for someone else, and be happy, find a job that pays well. Easy!

5. Do Something You're Not Good At. It's easy to be mediocre at a wide range of jobs. To be a master takes years, sometimes a lifetime. Solution: You _know_ you've got a knack for _something_. If it's something you like, which can pay well, _and which you're good at_, consider doing _it_ rather than fuming in your cubicle. At the very least you'll enjoy the ride! If you're not sure, find a fat list of job titles somewhere and skim through it: who knew that jobs like chicken-sexer or house-sitter existed?


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